cheating....

it should never be about the person who cheats u, it should always be wat u learnt out of it......is it that u should stop trusting other people,u start cribbing about hopelessness in life,n keep brooding overwhy it was you......??
ruchi...one of my dearest frens often says...ACCHE LOGON KE SAATH HAMESHA ACCHA HOTA HAI PAR DUKH TO SABHI KO JHELNE PADTE HAI... n how suffering comes into ur life u dont know but i believe it comes only to mould u..to train u..to become a better judge n of course a better person...
coming back to the cheats n liars...n how u take this positively....
1)they give u oppurtunity to forgive them
2)they give u an assurance that u definitely have someone better in life to trust n love
3)u are saved of frequent cheating episodes
4)u know ur worth...if ur honest...u know wat u deserve
5)u have an oppurtunity to evolve...jst let go..anyway wat ur trying to hold back is fake!
so dont stop trusting n loving people...cos life is a journey...a search towards ur soulmate....n all those who walk away were never meant for u:)))n a loving heart always deserves true love never a cheat.......

jimmy n me:))

one of the best companions life offered me was my pet jimmy.... came home jst 15days old...n we loved the surprise by dad,though mom was grumbling!
he wagged his tail wen we came home from school, licked our faces, n always begged for food:)
he grew in no time...while he chewed all possible things...from shoes to furniture...n was treated like the kid of the home......
all fell in love with him....but he fell n love with mom...cos she fed him...n with me...i dont know why?i told him all my woes n he licked my tears if i cried....but if jimmy was hurt we all cried....
he was a big boy n all were scared of his jaw n teeth....but not me.........i pampered him the most...got him chewes n a new belt in his neck....wud give him a bath ,brush his hair,feed him morsels from my plate,sleep on the same pillow,dust away the tics,take him for a walk or rather he wud take me for one......n much more.......somehow he became my child, though i wud tie a rakhi on him...n he wud be delighted abt it! he was extemely intelligent n understood all that was said to him...
one day he got a bad wound..n the vet said he mite lose his leg....i cried with the rest...but dressed his wound repeatedly...he howled as it pained but only allowed me to do it...n love healed him....
yrs passed attachment increased n we dint realise that jimmy was no more a young boy....he was growing old but to me he was still my child...dint ever sleep without giving him a bed....dint ever eat without giving him a part...kissed him on his face n hugged him everyday...n if he was hurt it hurt me...
jst the manisfestation of his old age worried me...i knew time was less....n wen he walked with difficulty i helped him for slow walks...gave him medicines wen he was ill...but cried abt knowing the fact...that someday jimmy my child will be gone.......
he was ill n i knew it....got a call from mom...come home soon jimmy is very ill....i cudnt stop my tears n cried aloud on the station while i got in the train..came home jst to see dad digging a grave in the garden..i dint want to believe ,stepped home to see jimmy lying still...sleeping 4ever..cudn wake him up..i jst collapsed in grief....n only we cud know the pain.......that mischievious kid who gave me joy all life..who wiped my tears n shared my pillow was no more.......
i still sit at his grave..n look into the sky...say a hi to the lovliest star......my jimmy....

joy of giving....

....i had bought a toy bicycle one day...very cute...like to collect antique n different things...like matichi khelni n other things... i like to also give away things n even part of me n without expecting from others...it makes me feel gud....i decided to give this toy to mavia... my leukemia patient...4yr old....dint live enough though... finally i gave it 2 my exam case...rachit...aur phir mavia ki yaad aayi....

i used to sing n dance with her in the special ward n she never cried when i pricked her so many times for her medication...so brave at 4!!!
one day she wanted to have sheera... not allowed any outside food...her mother was sad...her home was in MP n she cud not cook for her....but she did not ask....one day i askd mavia wat she wants since she was not eating for many days....she said sheera...

i dint know how to get it...since outside food is not allowed n i was not allowed to go home being a resident doctor...i was restless...i knew she cud die any moment...
i called ma....she understood wat i felt...she sent my aunt with a full dabba of sheera....in those days even i never got food properly...n ghar ka to rare tha....
i gave it to mavia...n wat i felt is really close to my heart....

u know wat.. life is so unpredictable...i wish i can give more of myself to every person in my life...so when its time for me to die...i wont repent a single deed of selfishness....

soulmates....

i am a great fan of paulo coelho... when i read his work, it gives me answers.. answers to questions that trouble the soul...
but i found a new philoshophy that i can truely identify with... i may seem to have magical thinking...but i guess theres no life without magic!
this girl brida is in search of her soulmate... n the path is full of risks...failure..disappointment..n disillusion....but u have to try relentless in ur search for love..
the whole of mans life is summed up by his search for his soulmate.n watever he achieves is incomplete without his soulmate...
your soulmate cud be anywhere on earth.. n if they r in pain you too suffer however unconsciously a portion of their pain...one cud encounter his soulmate for months, days or even moments...but they bring in love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days...
one can let his soulmate go unnoticed...n he will be condemned to the worst torture....lonliness.......
how does one recognise his soulmate...n wat is a soulmate?
our soul divides into two which further divides into a male half n a female half... such that a person cud have more than one soulmates...anywhere on earth....
n then y do we feel a special connection with people we hardly know...y do we understand them...y does it pain when they r in trouble... n y even those few moments justify the rest of our lives...
u see that strange light in the eyes n feel drawn to them...as if we know them since life existed...
i have met people who make me feel m just like them...who made life meaningful even without a relation to name n who came into my life from nowhere but keep me longing to to see them, meet them n live with them ....
i wish i can live the rest of my life with one such soulmate...cos i wud recognise him n wish he too cud see that light in my eyes....

life n death........

he met me just 15 days back.... pilot rajesh nair...age 31yrs..... had one dream to complete his training hours succeessfully n graduate into a pilot from a co-pilot....he liked me n proposed a marriage....i had not seen him n neither had he, being across borders... but all that he spoke seemed honest confessions from his heart.... n he was so loving, he didnt care what he wanted in return... told me all about his life....having jst got to know him i wondered how n where this wonderful person has come into my life making all confessions of love even before seeing me.....

one day i spoke to him about my hardships n he said......." m nowhere...u have crashed my ego....i have been fed in a golden spoon n never can imagine any of wat u have gone thru.... n he said he wud toast his captain... flirt with the air hostesess.....he was jst too happeeee having met a person like me he said...he said i will jst take u out of ur home into my life....to keep u happeeee all life..." all life......n true for all that he lived he gave me all happiness he cud..... yes he met with a car accident..... n is no more.....

can anyone believe that!........the kind of sweet person he was death cud only be a remote association....he cud only fly n love n make all around him happeeee.........he spoke to me even on death bed.... n asked me y did i care for him.....as sweet as he was i cud only say...i cant bear to hear ur pain...n i pray that god shud give it to me not to u..........

he loved his parents n frend neha...n said i was the next commitment in his list........being the only son he gave all his love to them....

in jst 15days life is different....n death cud be the only answer?? why?? true ,god takes away the sweetest smelling flowers from his garden n keeps them fresh in his abode in heaven....

people come into our lives...they have some role to play... i believe there was a role for me too..... i was to keep him happeee in the last few days of his life...he died with love in his heart.... love for his parents, his frends, his profession........n me.........

rajesh is now a different name... a special one.... n all promises he made he has fulfilled them by loving all so truely n dearly.........god is cruel i said first then realised....he gave me the scent of the sweetest flower from his garden for 15days n appointed me to keep him happpeee in his last few moments.... the last conversation with rajesh will stay forever fresh in my heart n his too.......... werever he is...i know he can only be happeeee n peaceful...............

we know life ends in death but we dont know wen... rajesh has taught me to live everyday as the last...to love everyone wen u live...each day...cos life may be short but still never too short to love...........n death can beat life but not the love he left back for all......

magic!!

I was travelling in the 2nd class compartment of aamchi mumbai local train from GTB commomly called koliwada station to vashi...sitting across was a mother with two school goin daughters,both in their uniforms, one was a little younger probably in class 4 ...chatting about various things....
when we crossed the vashi creek..it is a beautiful view from the train...shimmering water,boating fishermen with colorful flags on their boats,white birds flying jst above water n trying to get at some fish....its simply photograhic....with some difficulty to picture it while the train moves...
people throw various things in water...like coconuts...flowers...n wat not... n this little girl had probably witnessed such things before...now she was excited,as we arrived over the waters....she took out a coin from her schoolbag n was attempting to throw it out of the window when her mother stopped her from doing so...obviously as simple as she looked..m sure she did not want to waste any money on such tricks...as if well aware that fun is not meant for the poor...
i donno wat happened...someone spoke suddenly from within me...i actually asked her to throw it in the water...i said jst throw it n make a wish...wat did u ask? n some fisherman will find it...n god will even grant ur wish!! she shyed away with a cute smile....but i was amazed at my own behaviour...how cud i ask her to go ahead even when her mother refused...???
n y not? wat is life without hope? n we all believe that some magic works in our lives...in some form or the other...some people..love...work...relations....dreams...
someone gives us hope...n we relive to realise our dreams even in the worst times...n dreams n magic n hope is for all...rich or poor...small or big...good or bad....
then y not give hope that there is magic!!.... to all who come into our lives... to realise their dreams....n wat u get bak is a lovely smile with twinkling eyes...isnt that magical??

junglee tufan tyre puncture!!

travelling by nandys car can never be devoid of danger...it can pose various threats like the fore tyres getting stuck in a gutter at 3.00 am in the morning...with difficult weather conditions inhibiting any help in stormy rains, keeping door keys inside jst before shutting it!!...jst escaping accidents with heavy vehicles!!....getting to pay fines for entering no enteries.... parking in no parking...n many like....
but something that happens with remarkable frequency is the right ...note only the right rear tyre getting punctured repeatedly...however this time it was accompanied with another interesting incident... yes on the palm beach road nandita n i witnessed the phenomenon of amit...the to be mr. nandita actually helping with changing of the tyre for the first time ever since that tyre keeps bursting!! ....n i actually learnt the whole thing abt the jack n the tommy while amit did it all under nandys guidance ...so three cheers to amit n his new gyming habits... n u can call any of us if ur confronted with a junglee tufan or tyre puncture....always ready to help:))))

adventures at kalsubai!!

adventures at kalsubai....
thanx to d 4mnths workout that gave me all the stamina to go to d highest peak in maharashtra....trekked 4 d first time...but m happeee m bak alive...i mean in it in d true sense....
climbing up was fun n not so bad...some of us took d wrong way...i slipped at a point n if pappu din pull me i wud be..i donno where!!
we went rite to kalsubai temple n it was somewhere around 16kms but very steep climb..there were lokhandi ladders on inaccessible parts only 1inch in breadth.....n one cud see the valley below in between two steps....imagine all fog around n deep valley below....some 100-200 steps..n three such ladders at the tallest parts of the peak!!!
at d top the wind made it difficult to stand n we all froze...ate vada pav dat we carried n den descended...
now was d true story....i had worn shoes dat dint give a good grip...wasnt aware of wat exactly i shud go with...n every single step i took slipped...it had rained n matters got worst.. now took the rite path but everyone moved ahead except me n a couple....priti was worst she had not even sports shoes...but amol accompanied her throughout...obviously!
pappu wlked with me initially but as things got difficult...d shoes getting sticky...he too landed far ahead....
now i was alone somewere in d jungle.....no one ahead n no one behind...priti n amol were far behind....every step i took slipped n it was dangerous...i fell several times..now used even hands to hold on... n prayed ...om sairam...every step....no snakes wre seen by me thankfully....
then those ladders....all alone...i was also worried abt strangers i wud meet on d way....
now my hands were red n bruised...n pain din matter more than life....
finally reached were all were, ofcourse longbak...n din have anything to say....cudn blame anyone for dat...but i expected deva to be around....
we had lunch ..prepared by farmers staying on the mountain....der was till a long descend left n i started alone again before everyone...it rained more n shoe soles were all smooth n flat...i slipped from some ht...n was saved from severe injury by manish who ws lower down...but i had thorns in my palm..n it bled as i took it out....
it was enough i cudn sustain n i had tears...wen pappu n deva saw me n came for help... deva gave me a longh straight branch to hold for support...i din want his help now...but he took my shoes..n wlked with me.....yes i walked d rest without shoes...n blood over my palm...everyone was slipping but it got worst witout shoes.....fell several times ....but now witout any sensation of pain....only better thing was deva walked with me....everyone had reached...but while we walked it rained heavily...n all rocks were slippery....now i had thorns in feet as well...jst concentrated as much as i cud...
we reached d vehicle n all were cold....thighs were numb....n a 2hrs drive in the same position to d station....poured some dinsinfectant over d cuts...changed at d station n got into d train...n then home
one thing came to my mind ....thank god m alive...
now i gotta take injection tetanus toxoid...n antibiotics for leptospirosis prophylaxis.....
can walk 2day with stiffness...but hope to get better in a day.... learnt 2 things...the toughest paths of life often have to be walked alone....
god sends help n takes care of u...jst have to try sincerely...
3rd never go for unplanned n non instructed picnics...planned by irresponsible guys....
thank kalsubai goddess!!